Arguing over baby name...with my mom?

I am absolutely fed up with this debate. Please tell me I am not alone in this! I am 29 years old and pregnant with my eighth child. My husband and I are stable with a good life. My husband Active duty US Navy, I'm a writer. So its not like I live at home with my parents, I have a life of my own. I guess that is part of why I am so darned fed up with this constant bickering.


I found out this baby is another girl just before Christmas. We told the family over the holiday. We already had names picked out. Had this baby been a boy he would have been Elijah James, a girl... Bailey Michelle. My mother had spent months giving us hell for wanting to name our son Elijah and we ignored her. Now that she knows we are having another girl she has started a list and has passed it around the extended family. A list of middle names they would all rather see us use than "Michelle". The whole thing started over Christmas when after dinner my mother pulled me aside and asked me if I was absolutely sure I wanted "Michelle". When I said yes, she informed me that the idea was a bad one. When I asked why she told me that every Michelle she has ever known has been gay! She told me I am dooming my child to be gay because I want that name. I was floored! My mother isn't the type to hold a prejudice, this was insane. I explained I was tired of hearing the constant lack of support from family and that my child would be named whatever we chose. Later that night I caught my mother and father sitting at my computer researching middle names that might better fit the name Bailey. Before I knew it they were passing me a four page list of names they found. Every time I speak with her on the phone now, she has something to say about our choice. She has mailed me lists she has created, suggestions from extended family and research she has found. She even lectured me on the Michelles she knows and the kind of people they are. She has given us hell before with our names. These are my children...





Girl: Samantha Marie


Girl: McKenzie Faith


Girl: Emilia Justice


Twins- Boy: Connor William and Girl: Kaitlyn Nicole


Boy: Anthony Michael


Girl: September Lynn





She didn't give us that much hell over the other names of our children. Not like she is doing now. I am due in less then eight weeks and the phone calls keep rolling in. Last night she told me on the phone that I should pick something that sounds like Michelle but isn't. That way it still flows but she won't grow up to be a "bull dike". I have had enough and am seconds from writing her off all together. She even talked my grandmother into calling me this morning and asking why I am so dead set on Michelle for a middle name. Give me a break!





So what should I do? This is our last baby and the children as tradition has it in our home, helped pick the name for the new baby. My kids are confused as to why their grandma has a problem with it (I didn't give them her reason). How do I tell my mom to stuff it in a nice way? Anyone else had this battle? Its starting to come to a head and as soon as Bailey is born I know the war will begin. My husband's family doesn't have a problem with it. Just mine! Aunts, uncles, you name it. All of them have somehting horrible to say about the name. I would like to keep my mother around for the sake of my children. My mother and I have always had such a great relationship, till now. How do I get it through her head that the choice isn't hers?

Arguing over baby name...with my mom?
Do what I did. Tell her that her time to name a baby was 30 years ago when she gave birth to me.
Reply:Just ignore her.


Your child, your choice.
Reply:I'm sorry to hear your having so much trouble over naming your own child!! You're right this is insane! It's your daughter and you should name her what you like...not what everyone else in your extended family likes. Who cares, they can name their own children. If I were you I would refuse to have the conversation. If it's on the phone I would say " I'm sorry Mom, I am not having this conversation with you, Bye!" And pretty much the same thing in person. Remove yourself from the situation when she decides she want's to go crazy on you with this. I hope you're able to name your daughter without everyone being mad at you. Hopefully your mother will come around, and chances are if you refuse to get into it with her she will have no other choice. Good luck and congrats on your baby girl!
Reply:y not do michelle bailey so it a definate choice and tell her to stop aruge cuz u could go into labor eailer if ur stressed.. i think
Reply:Tell her to STFU. Your baby, you get to pick the name. You can take their opinions, but ultimately, it's up to you.
Reply:Wow, that's crazy! I'd let her know that she is driving you away and if she doesn't back off you are going to stop talking to her. She had her chance to name her kids what she wanted and avoid the names she didn't want. What you name yours is none of her business!





Not sure why she thinks all Michelles are gay anyway..I know a few Michelles...none of them are gay lol! My cousin's middle name is Michelle, she has 2 kids and has been married for awhile now. I know someone with the first name Michelle..she's married with 3 kids. It's silly to think just because you use a certain name, the kid is sure to be gay, blonde, brown eyed, goofy, a convict, etc lol! Names have nothing to do with any of that!





I think I would tell her that you are not at all intersted in her opinion, no matter how much she keeps on you will not change your mind. Let her know how it's making you feel toward her and the rest of your family who keeps bugging you about it.





Either that or you could always come up with a "fake" name and tell her you've decided to use it instead..then use Michelle anyway lol! It would at least temporarily get her off your back and maybe she wouldn't have the nerve to continue once the baby has the name..then again, maybe not. Probably best to let her know how it's affecting your relationship with her. Good luck!
Reply:That's my name, and I'm sure my boyfriend would disagree with her!





But for now, tell her it is no longer up for discussion, and if that's the only reason she's calling..not to call. Also, any paperwork or emails-give or send back without reading them.
Reply:I LOVE the name Bailey Michelle. Sounds very "classic". As far as your mom....it's none of her business. She already had her turn naming her own kids. I wouldn't even talk to her about it anymore if I was you. Tell her that you will take what she thinks into consideration but it's ultimately you and your husband's decision. Tell everyone that you've decided that the name is going to be a surprise!! That's one reason I didn't even allow ANY family besides my husband to even be present at the times I gave birth. It was WAY more special and such a wonderful bonding time with my husband and myself. People will get over it. Having a baby is already stressful and frightening enough without what you are dealing with. You don't need all this unnecessary debating and drama. Especially since they have no vote. Do what you and your husband want.You'll be so much happier and won't always feel annoyed everytime you say her name because you were bullied into a name you didn't even want to give her. It's your baby girl. Your choice. I love the name you picked.