Monday, November 16, 2009

Baby Name Disagreement?

I am expecting my first child in the spring with an ex-boyfriend. He wants to be involved in the child's life, however we don't get along very well and he has had issues with drug addiction in the very recent past.





This aside, I have discussed baby names with him and he is adamant that if the baby is a boy, I must give him his father's name. I absolutely can't stand his name, it's old fashioned and often made fun of--but our two conversations about this have turned into him screaming at me. I've asked him to compromise, and he is unwilling to do so. Should I suck it up and give the baby his father's name to avoid him flying off the handle--even though I absolutely hate the name--or should I come up with my own name, as he is unwilling to compromise and we are unmarried?

Baby Name Disagreement?
Hon, that kid is your and you don't want to spend the rest of your life speaking about and to your child and saying a name that you hate. Give the boy a good name that you like, and ignore the father on this issue. If he is this unwilling to compromise about the child's name, what other items of the kid's life do you think you are going to have to battle w/ this man when it comes to your child?





If I where you, I would cut my losses and severally limit this man's access to your child. Do you really want that man as a role model for your kid? there a much better men out there for your kid to take after then him, who cares who donated the sperm for your son or daughter?





You need to take a real serious look at this guy and consider the reasons you broke up w/ him in the first place. Do you really want him around your child?





Its your kid, you give that baby a name that you want to call him and let him be damned. don't give in now, cause who knows what else he is going to want from you concerning your baby in the future.





And i agree w/ you. I don't like that name at all either. you may want to consider giving the kid your last name, since you don't have to give the baby his last name if you two are not together.





I wish you good luck in finding the right man for you and your child, dear.
Reply:Is there a name similar to his but a lil more modern or maybe use the fathers name as a middle name. Also consider his family tree. Maybe you would find something there you like and he would be impressed with the though. Just a maybe.


Otherwise name the child whatever you like and the Dad will get over it... eventually...
Reply:Nope a name you pick out and your last name as well is my opinion. This guy doesn't sound very stable and it would suck for you to stick a kid with the name he wants then he'll disappear. Not worth the risk at all especially if you hate the name.
Reply:Urgh I can see fully why you dont want your baby to have his name...a) hes not going to be the best father role model, and b) yes the name is very old fashioned!





Meet him halfway and tell him that you will use one of the names he picks as a middle name only.
Reply:Give him his name as a middle name. He is unlikely to straighten up his own life so why would you hang his name on your son. You are the one who is carrying the child and you get to decide what his name will be.
Reply:I completely agree with Billy. He has no right, you are going to be raising this baby - not him. Try using his fathers name as a middle name, but if you don't like then it shouldn't be a first name for your baby.
Reply:A. It would help to know what it is.


B.Just choose a variation of the name.Like if its Wilbur, choose Wilson instead for example.
Reply:Consider it when the drug infested ex ponies up money for support, grows up and kicks the drugs. Until then, the naming rights are all yours, baby.
Reply:If you really hate it that much, I'd stand my ground and refuse to discuss names further until he thinks he can handle it without screaming.
Reply:Considering the circumstances, its all your choice woman!
Reply:you don't even have to put the father's name on the birth certificate, let alone burden the child with it.
Reply:Your carrying this child so i say name him or her what you want not what he wants, good chance he won't stick round anyway
Reply:why would u care how he feels.he is not ur husband.so he will get over it
Reply:noooo ur giving birth to the baby!


dont give in, mabey use his [ugly] name as a middle
Reply:dont use his name.








why should you be the one to go with what he wants but he isnt willing to do the same?
Reply:Screw him! Not literally...ever again! If he is having personal issues with drugs he most likely won't really "be" there for your baby. If he is your EX-boyfriend and you don't ever see yourself being with him then that child will be mostly yours. You are not stuck being single forever just b/c you have a baby by another man. You will most likely find someone else in the future and do you really want any part of your EX in that situation when you have someone else to love your child??? If you and your EX aren't going to be together and that is FOR SURE then you need to pick the entire name on your own and give the baby YOUR last name! Who wants the last name McDonald??? Good luck girl! : )
Reply:Definately come up with your own name---maybe even one that is similar for a middle name---because what are the chances the guy will actually stick around? What's his name, by the way, if you don't mind me asking?
Reply:If you give your child his name you will regret it. Especially if he is unreliable and fades out of the childs life, like many with his issues do. Give YOUR child YOUR name. As for naming a son after him, I wouldn't. Usually a child is named after someone that deserves respect and is looked up to (i.e a relative or close friend). He doesn't sound like he is either..


I've been through something similar and regret giving my son his father's name just to keep the peace. Now I am married, to a wonderful man, and have little contact with his biological father. Do what you feel is right--but don't do it just to keep him quiet. This is your baby and it sounds as if you will be doing the majority of this alone.


Tell him--until he is willing to compromise you are done consulting him and will call him when the baby is born. Do what's best for you and your child!! Good Luck and God Bless!!!


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